Jane Campion’s ninth outing in a directing role conveys all the usual period blend of romance and refinery. Her screenplay for this film remains true to the words of John Keats himself, and ensures her constructed world is a believable portrait of Keats’ life and times.

Film critics are conceited by definition, but we’re not smug enough to think that the legions of Twilight fans could give two hoots about what we have to say about their beloved franchise. That much was clear when last year’s Twilight managed to pull an impressive $380 million at the global box office, despite the fact that a majority of critics (i.e. myself) considered it a droning, ineptly crafted teen-romance. It has therefore been in the best interest of this year’s sequel, New Moon, to change absolutely nothing. Once again, critics will mercilessly steak the film to death, but it will do little to stop box office records from crumbling.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll dance in your seat throughout This Is It…as long as you’re a Michael Jackson fan. If you’re like me – neither a lover nor hater of MJ– then you’ll be bored stiff within the hour. That’s because This is It is little more than what you’d see in the special features of a concert DVD; there’s MJ rehearsing, then there’s MJ rehearses a little bit more, and for the final climactic act, MJ rehearses one last time before the credits roll. Fan will be transfixed throughout, but if you’re looking for an insightful documentary on Jackson’s final concert, this isn’t it.

Film about robots is mechanical. Who’d have guessed?

Astro Boy — the big-screen adaptation of the beloved 60s Japanese manga-turn-anime series — has been welded together using the parts of other (better) films like Gladiator, The Incredibles, A.I, Pinocchio and, most notably, Frankenstein. It’s a hybrid creation only small children and the most die-hard fans could love, but even they might find this slapdash animated adventure is a middling diversion at best.

Those people over in Tinseltown have been running out of ideas since, well, forever – but with remakes coming ever sooner to the next generation of cinema-goers, how are audiences not expected to go with what’s offered to them? At the time of writing, kids in Australia on school holidays are being offered family-oriented features, as is the norm. While Fame may sit on the edge of this boundary because of a more mature theme, this ‘re-imagining’ of the 1980 cult hit still aims to appeal to a younger audience. It doesn’t have the ‘sex factor’ of Centre Stage, Step Up or even TV’s Glee, which from what we’ve seen is shaping up to be a more comedic (but still intense) look at the desires of performers. While those who’ve seen the original are sure to have different opinions and comparisons to those who haven’t, Fame in its 2009 form doesn’t appear as a remake – but it fails to make a significant mark.

It’s odd that The Soloist is playing quietly into cinemas during the early days of September, as if deliberately out of earshot of the upcoming awards season. It looked set to be a sure-fire Oscar contender; not only does it star two of Hollywood’s finest actors, Robert Downy Jr. And Jamie Foxx, it’s also based on a true story that deals with mental illness, poverty and the human spirit. How could the Academy resist?

Michael Mann’s Miami Vice was certainly stylish, but the horribly convoluted plot and bland characterisations made it about as appealing as Colin Farrell’s mullet. In Public Enemies, Mann makes his apology by enlisting charismatic heartthrob Johnny Depp to portray notorious American bank robber John Dillinger. Whilst Depp sure does make up for Farrell’s mullet, it’s clear that Mann has yet to renounce all his other vices. He still under-develops his characters and has a nonsensical love for digital cinematography, causing this two-and-a -half-hour game of cat and mouse to lose momentum faster than a contestant on The Biggest Loser.

The slogan accompanying the Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs poster wittily promises you’ll “Laugh your ice off”. While the kids might occasionally shed some icicles, this 3-D threequel contains too few laughs and too many clichés to defrost anyone else. If only Blue Sky studios were capable of writing a screenplay that matches the quality of their animation, which is particularly dazzling this time round thanks to the introduction of a more luscious jungle palate. But aside from the reliably fantastic acorn-loving squirrel Scrat and the introduction of Simon Pegg’s delightfully nutty weasel Buck, there’s not much else for audiences over the age of 10 to warm to during this third, and hopefully final, Ice Age.

In a true narrative cliché, Sid (John Leguizamo) the sloth is taken captive by a thought-to-be-extinct T-Rex mummy, causing Manny (Ray Romano) the mammoth and the rest of his oddball herd set out to retrieve their friend. After they follow the dinosaur’s tracks through a crack in the ice, they discover a jungle paradise beneath which is populated by all sorts of gigantic flora and fauna hoping to turn them into dinner. Whilst sabre-tooth Diego (Denis Leary) and goofball opossum twins Crash (Sean William Scott) and Eddie (Josh Peck) take to the change of scenery, Manny would much rather his pregnant partner Ellie (Queen Latifah) give birth to their child in a safer environment. They enlist the navigational help of the eccentric knife wielding weasel Buck (Simon Pegg), who they hope will help them find Sid and return home before the baby is born.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

Maybe my middling experience owes to not seeing Ice Age 3 in 3-D. The film is noticeably tailored for the third dimension as there’s a great deal more action and a great deal less witty banter, especially the type geared towards adults. The herd spend most of the film’s 95 minute running time outrunning viscious dinosaurs, balancing atop of shaky rock platforms and dwindiling on the edge of a flowing lava-fall. I do hope each of these scenarios seemed fresh and engaging in 3D, because they certainly didn’t in 2D. It’s not that the animation isn’t stellar, because it is; Blue Sky does a particularly brilliant job at animating the adorable baby T-Rex trio (kids will want these in plush form, trust me). The problem I have with the extra dimension is that it’s allowing animators to mask lazy storytelling with eye-popping effects. Instead of engaging audiences with an original concept, Ice Age 3 simply takes a pedestrian one and applies it with a glossy new coat. The ones paying for such indolence is the parents, who must now fork out twice the price for a 3D ticket to give their kids a worthwhile experience.

Mind you, not all enjoyment is reserved for the third dimension. Ice Age’s trump card has always been that much-loved squirrel Scrat (Chris Wedge), who might as well be in his own movie. His hilariously futile quest to obtain his beloved acorn is wondrously reminiscent of Wile-E Coyote in the classic Road Runner cartoon. This time round, he is distracted by the glamorous Scrattete, leaving him to question whether there’s enough room in his life for two loves. Within the main story arch, the only character nearly as enjoyable as Scrat is newcomer Buck, an enthusiastic weasel well characterised by Simon Pegg’s energetic vocal performance. By contrast, the returning cast sound bored stiff; Ray Ramano’s dry wit as Manny only seems to work when it’s paired with Sid’s dim-witted prattle, which is problematic considering he is elsewhere for most of the film. Queen Latifah and Denis Leary as Ellie and Diego have little comedic input, unfairly leaving it up to the slapstick tomfoolery of twins Crash and Eddie to keep this primitive comedy from going extinct when Scrat is too busy chasing both nuts and tail off-screen.