Harry Potter is about a nerdy 10 year-old boy who is informed by a wise and powerful wizard that he is the ‘chosen one’ fated to stop an evil force from taking over the world. In contrast, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is about a nerdy 10 year-old boy who is informed by a wise and powerful sorcerer that he is the ‘Prime Merlinian’ fated to stop an evil force [...]

When Michael Winterbottom’s The Killer Inside Me premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in January, one of the film’s stars, Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four), reportedly walked out of the cinema half way through the screening. But who can blame her? This grim look into the psyche of a serial killer is so brutally violent and sadist in parts, its borderline torture porn. As far as crime thrillers go, it’s also quite a bore.

This lazily plotted and performed political snoozer has to be one of the most disappointing films I’ve seen all year. The premise, adapted from Robert Harris’s novel The Ghost, seems ripe with tension and mystique, but as the film so blatantly purports via its plodding paint-by-the-numbers narrative, not everything is as it seems.

But while I left the cinema feeling as though I deserved a t-shirt that reads ‘I survived the Eclipse’, Twilight devotes were beaming from ear to ear as though they’ve just spent the last 130 minutes riding a Unicorn across a rainbow made of pure, unadulterated happiness. It’s “the best yet!” apparently. Perhaps it is. But that’s like saying ‘A’ is the best form of hepatitis.

Ultimately, Farewell isn’t a particularly engaging film, nor is it overtly bad. Instead, it loiters somewhere within the wasteland of movie mediocrity, destined to be lost amongst all the other films where an interesting idea failed to translate onto the big screen.

Here we go again, on the winter eve of another J-Lo album release comes yet ANOTHER J-Lo movie. Yes, it is a romantic comedy. Yes, it does put Jenny from the Block in the shoes of an unlucky-in-love but incredibly nice lady, once again. And YES, this one is also destined to be forgotten as quickly as you can say ¡Hola!

Considering that the latest Robin Hood is an origin story, it’s ironic, I think, that leading man Russell Crowe is the oldest actor ever to portray the infamous British outlaw on film. The 46 year old certainly isn’t as robust as he used to be, especially when compared to his commanding and demanding turn in Gladiator a decade ago. But in Crowe’s defence, much of Robin Hood looks to be equally as tired. Perhaps that’s because in Ridley Scott’s take on the Hood, what was green is now grey, lively now lethargic and merry now miserable.

Imagine if Gran Torino’s Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) was the disgruntled pensioner living next door to the characters of Trainspotting, scornfully yelling “get off my estate!” to the local gangs and drug addicts. That’s essentially Harry Brown in a nutshell. Sound like a bit of a laugh doesn’t it?