Back in 2003, when Johnny Depp wearing eyeliner still conjured up images of Edward Scissorhands, Hollywood producer Jerry Bruckheimer teamed up with Disney to turn a tired old Disneyland ride in to one of the most profitable movie franchises in history.

It was, of course, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Cure of the Black Pearl: a fun, funny and invigoratingly fresh film that represented everything a blockbuster movie should be. The film was rare product of inspiration that left me, and millions of others, licking their lips at the prospect of a sequel.

Well, hindsight’s a bitch, they say.

The subsequent sequels turned out bloated, bewildering and boring — everything a blockbuster movie shouldn’t be.

So here we are, the inevitable fourth installment, where Bruckheimer and Co. have clearly gone back to the drawing board to see what it was that made the first film so great in a hope they can recreate it. Have they succeeded?

Nice try, but no.

While On Stranger Tides does patch up some of the more gaping holes that sank the previous film — namely the confusing subplots, the superfluous support characters and the overindulgent CGI action sequences — it still buckles under the weight of an insipid story, tired performances and an inescapable sense of  “been there, done that”. Simply put, the magic is lost, and I highly doubt it’ll back in time for round five.

For a full (and very goofy) report on Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides , watch my video review: