I doubt it’s a coincidence, then, that Elliott’s new screwball comedy A Few Best Men  is set against the backdrop of a sheer cliff overlooking the Blue Mountains, on the edge of which a bride and groom blissfully plan to unite. Of course, much like Elliott’s own cliff experience, the result is nothing short of disastrous. Only this time it’s hilariously disastrous.

Unmistakably written by Death at a Funeral‘s Dean Craig, A Few Best Men follows a trio of brash British groomsmen as they attend — and destroy — their best friend’s lavish Australian wedding. It’s a rapid-fire farce that rivals the snowballing absurdity of The Hangover and Bridesmaids, but as the film’s Australia Day opening suggests, A Few Best Men is uniquely and proudly a home-brew production.

Whilst Elliott was promoting the film in Adelaide, I was given the opportunity to sit down with the candid Aussie filmmaker and talk about the ins and outs of making people laugh, from filming one of the most dangerous and hilarious stunts of the movie, to his  traumatic teenage years as a wedding videographer where he saw it all, and then some.

You can watch our interview below:

Funny Friday: ‘The Social Network’ Parodies

Funny Friday: Twilight…for guys!

Interview: Jonathan Teplitzky, writer/director of BURNING MAN

The Hangover Part 2 (Video Review)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (Video Review)

But then came the rote sequel Evolution (2006), followed by the pointless prequel Rise of the Lycans (2009). Somewhere in between Twilight happened, singlehandedly destroying centuries of vampire mythology with a single sparkle.  And now we have Underworld: Awakening, a 3D sequel that proves, yet again, that whatever cultish charms the original had, it’s all but ashes now.

After her absence from the prequel, Beckinsale is back in black as Selene, a vampire who previously betrayed her species by falling in love with a hybrid named Michael (Scott Speedman). As the title implies, humanity has finally awakened to the existence of Vampires and Lycans and has systematically begun to exterminate them, prompting Selene and Michael to try and escape the city. Admittedly, I found myself rooting for the humans during these early scenes, as for all the excuses mankind have used to justify the culling of a subspecies, I think “because they drink our blood and maul our faces!” is one of our better ones. Either way, it’s not long before the film reverts to just being about vampires and werewolves again, with humanity back to believing that the purge was successful and the two no longer exist.

While I admit there is slightly more plot to it than that, I hope you’re not seeing this movie for the story. The end credits, if you make it that far, reveal that the film is the work of Swedish duo “Mårlind & Stein”, which sounds more like an accounting firm than a pair of filmmakers. I suppose that would explain their cold and clerical direction, profit-raising addition of needless 3D and a screenplay about as creatively written as a tax return. Perhaps these are the same guys who do the bookkeeping for Paul W. S. Anderson’s similarly awful Resident Evil series?

Clocking in at 88 minutes, at least it’s over quickly. The writers come up with any old excuse for Beckinsale to flip around the room in her black leather outfit, which is seemingly as indestructible and flexible as she is. It clings to her slim figure like Glad Wrap, so I shudder to think where she keeps her endless supply of ammunition and grenades. Doesn’t it get sweaty in there? Come to think of it, do vampires even perspire? According to Google, the answer is no, no they don’t.

These are the things you ponder when, for the umpteenth time, someone is sliding down a corridor in slow-mo like it’s 1999. The film even has the nerve to steal that silly scene from The Matrix Reloaded where Neo kick-starts Trinity’s heart by squeezing it with his bare hands. Honestly, if you’re going to steal stuff from The Matrix, at least steal the good bits.

Still, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 is coming out later this year, right? So at least this will only be the 2^nd worst vampire vs. werewolf movie of 2012.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (Review)

Cinema Releases – January 22, 2009

Win a TWILIGHT – NEW MOON Prize Pack!

Jonah Hill considering directorial debut with ‘The Kitchen Sink’

Resident Evil: Afterlife (Review)

The year is 1973 and the Cold War has yet to thaw. Gary Oldman (Red Riding Hood) stars as George Smiley, a former member of Britain’s Secret Intelligence Service who is brought out of retirement after his dying ex-boss, codenamed Control (John Hurt; Melancholia), begins to suspect that a senior spy within the agency was leaking intelligence to the Soviets. Through secret interviews with past and present members of MI6, Smiley begins compiling a profile on each of the four suspects: Bill Haydon (Colin Firth; The King’s Speech), Roy Bland (Ciarán Hinds; The Rite), Toby Esterhase (David Dencik; The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo), and the new head of the agency, Percy Alleline (Toby Jones; Captain America).

I’ve made it sound simple. The truth is it’s anything but.  This is not the kind of movie you see after a long day’s work, or on a date where your attention might be elsewhere. Alfredson’s follow-up to Let the Right One In demands your undivided attention, and even if you manage to give it that, don’t be surprised if you still get lost. After all, before John LeCarre’s 1974 novel was brought to the big screen, it was adapted into a five hour BBC miniseries. So, to put it mildly, there’s a lot of ground to cover.

In the film’s defence, I can’t imagine singling out a mole amongst some of the brainiest men in the country being a terribly quick or easy process. In fact, if you were to depict it as a slow, tortuous and frequently baffling experience like Alfredson does, you’d probably be bang on the money. The story unfolds via endless bouts of dialogue and flashbacks that are hard to distinguish from the present. The screenplay by Bridget O’Conner (Mrs. Ratcliffe’s Revolution) and  Peter Straughan (The Debt) doesn’t piece itself together like we’ve come to expect screen mysteries to do; no one turns around at any point and goes over what’s happening, or what’s happened, to make things easier for the audience. There are even key players who aren’t given a formal introduction simply because Smiley already knows who they are, and it’s therefore (unreasonably) expected that we do too. In other words, this is the kind of movie you’d want to watch with a rewind button handy. Actually, at 127 painfully paced minutes, a fast-forward button might help too.

If someone turned around and said that the movie was shot in 1973, I probably wouldn’t bat an eyelid. Well, I might have wondered why Gary Oldman was going grey at age 15, but my point is this: the movie looks remarkably authentic. You would be lucky to witness finer cinematography and production design this year, or any year. As for the performances, it can be hard to tell if Oldman is acting with superb restraint or merely on the verge of falling asleep. Everyone else is similarly understated, which makes for convincing performances, but not terribly engaging ones. In fact, of all the characters portrayed, only two had me caring: Tom Hardy (Warrior) as Ricki Tarr, a field agent in hiding, and Benedict Cumberbatch (The Whistleblower) as Peter Guillam, who aids Smiley’s investigation from within MI6. They’re the only two who don’t keep the audience at arm’s length, exhibiting things normal people do like fear and affection. The rest keep their emotions firmly in check, which I suppose is key to the makings of a good spy, but not quite as key to the makings of a good spy movie.

Australian Box Office 27/3/2011: Basket full for Hood

Australian Box Office 13/3/2011: Rango has The Rite

Australian Box Office 20/3/2011: Battle LA conquers Rango, Limitless

Red Riding Hood (Review)

Australian Box Office 13/2/11: ‘No Strings Attached’ pulls ahead

Movies, however, are not mundane at all. Why, they can be awesome! But before we go and watch them, we like to know what they’re about. We like to know what genre they pertain to, and the actors they feature. We like to know what the critics have said about it, and what the censorship board have rated it. In short, we like to know what to expect, and that’s where a film’s key art — the main image associated with a given movie — comes into play. Whether you see it lining the walls of your local cinema, plastered on a billboard on your way to work or buried in a blog post much like this one, a movie’s key art is often the first contact you’ll have with an upcoming release. And you know what they say about first impressions…

Below are some of the best examples of key art from 2011. They’re attention-grabbing, beautifully composed, richly symbolic and indicative of the mood of the movie. They say a good poster can sell you a movie in three seconds. Well, these are the ones that do it in two.

The Ides of March

Drenched in symbolism, this masterful design tells you everything you need to know about the film, and then some. With his tie loose and top button undone, we quickly establish that Stephen Meyers (Ryan Gosling) is the political young gun of the story, working for Governor Mike Morris (George Clooney), a presidential candidate. It’s telling that Morris' TIME magazine cover folds back to reveal Gosling’s face, as Meyers is the man behind Morris, writing his speeches and advising his actions. The fact that there is near-perfect symmetry between their faces is no coincidence, either, as Meyers is a Morris in the making. But take one look at Clooney’s furrowed brow and tell me he’s not hiding something. That's the underlying message of the movie: the political realm is full of egos willing to say and do anything to get ahead. “It’s not about you,” Clooney’s subtle scowl might as well be saying to the voting public. “It’s all about TIME.”

Clever, no?

Martha Marcy May Marlene

Often when a poster features superimposed images, it looks jarring and amateurish, but this one is nigh on perfect. (Well, except for the choice of font, but let's not dwell on that). With a kind of sensual unease, this sun-bleached bastion of good design tells the story of a lost soul looking for her place, and how a sinister father figure – seen ominously approaching in the background – sniffs out and takes advantage of her whimpering soul. It’s almost as if we’ve caught Elizabeth Olsen mid hair flick as she basks in the warming glow of the sun, eyes closed, wishing she could find the same warmth elsewhere. Ok, so I’m probably overthinking it, but how can you not. This poster just absorbs you.

Here I Am

There are colours… and then there are COLOURS. I’m pretty sure there are hues of blue and red on this poster that I have never even seen before, and now that I have, I feel like I’ve been missing out. It’s kind of fitting, too, that the film follows indigenous Australians, which some may (archaically) refer to as “people of colour”. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes – is that a bushfire raging in the background? – the woman pictured is looking to start afresh, and her empowering stance encapsulates the film’s title far better than an arrangement of words ever could. “Life affirming” is one way to describe the raw emotion of this poster, “awe-inspiring” is another.

Apart

I’ve never heard of this film before, but while trawling through the internet looking for posters to compile this list, this one immediately stood out. As two softly-lit young lovers rest heads against a translucent yellow background, the word I keep arriving at is “embryonic”. The sellotaped borders are telling of a photo that has been ripped up and stuck back together again, the only piece missing being the gatekeepers of the soul, the eyes. I’m reluctant to point out that “Torn” is the unspoken verb of the title, because it’s so perfectly conveyed, I'm sure you knew that already. I may have never heard of Apart before, but I’m all ears now.

Melancholia

Have you ever seen someone this stunning look so morose, so deceased, on their wedding day? You’d think it was the end of the world or something! Oh wait...

This poster for Lars Von Trier’s art-house apocalypse has earned its place on this list for one simple reason: that photograph is magnificent. All the Photoshop pros in the world could not recreate an image as gorgeously composed as this one. That’s not to say it hasn’t been touched up – see the looming planet's reflection? – but it’s done is such a natural way, it abides by what Photoshop was designed for in the first place: enhancing photos, not massacring them.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy

I chuckled when I first laid eyes on this witty design, did you? For starters, it’s rare for an ensemble film to have a poster where each actor’s mug is not lazily plonked inside a box like the Brady Bunch, but I guess when your biggest star is Jason Sudeikis, that wasn’t exactly an option. You might say that anyone who can open Microsoft Paint could have made this poster, but that’s like saying anyone with a few bits of wood could have invented the wheel. It’s less about the complexity or technicality of the execution than it is about the strength of the concept. And when you think about it, this concept is probably the most impenetrable thing about this movie. Zzing!

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

The face-to-face, good vs. evil poster is nothing particularly new, but when it’s done right, by gosh, is it done right. The intensity of the colours, the starkness of the lighting, the power of the symmetry and that nasty reptilian nose; this poster for the final Harry Potter just oozes epic. Much like the films, observing the evolution of the posters is a journey through adolescence itself.
Boy wizard? Not anymore.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

A poster that embraces sexuality this fearlessly is so rare in Hollywood, it’s worth celebrating when it comes along. In fact, had they chosen not to market David Fincher’s latest film with such gritty, gender-centric imagery, they would have done wrong by the Swedish source material, which was originally (and tellingly) titled ‘Men Who Hate Women’. Picturing a haggard Daniel Craig clutching a topless Rooney Mara around the neck, you might initially think the image reinforces the old “man dominating woman” stereotype. But take one look at Mara’s unruffled expression and firm returning grasp, and you’ll be forced to stop and think: who’s really wearing the pants in this relationship?

Scre4m

The one thing you should know about design is that less is almost always best. A poster that will grab your attention is usually the one with a simple yet striking bit of imagery, and this key art for Scre4m fits the bill perfectly. Ok, so it’s a little bit similar to the classic Halloween poster, but there’s no mistaking the Ghostface mask as anything but Wes Craven’s iconic series. Notice the way the tip of the knife leads the eye directly to the Scre4m title treatment; that’s called the visual hierarchy of the design, and an effective poster will make sure our attention winds up at the title sooner rather than later. Why? Because you don’t recite an image when you buy a ticket at the box office...

Super 8

I’m sure everyone has tilted their head at least once to observe this brooding beauty, which by way of an insidious skyline, cleverly highlights just how puny we all are in comparison to whatever the hell is out there. It also mimics the orientation of a strip of film, which is no doubt being wound through the Super 8 camera in possesion of the silhouetted kids. Yes, the credits are a little garish, but when Spielberg is involved, you’d be mad not to slap his name on there in a big, bold font. To top it off, there’s also one of J.J. Abrams' signature lens flares highlighting a key location in the film. A nice bit of ‘wink-wink’ in an otherwise mysterious bit of marketing.

Honourable Mentions

By a whisker, these are the posters that didn't quite make this year's Top 10, but are too good to not share with you anyway. Next year, in the unlikely chance that I'm less lazy than I am now, I might do a Top 20 instead.

Click on an individual poster to see it in all its glory.

When you're ready, click the 'next' arrow below to begin the countdown.

Read my lists for 2008, 2009 & 2010.

10 Best & Worst Movie Posters of 2009

2011 Online Film Critics Society Awards

Competition: Win a PROM DVD/Blu-ray prize pack!

10 Best & Worst Movie Posters of 2008

Competition: Win a BURIED prize pack + movie tickets!

But if there’s any satisfaction to be had from watching bad movies, it’s snarkily writing about how bad they are in year-end lists like this one!

Before we begin, it’s worth mentioning that I was more selective about the movies I went to see last year than I have been in the past, so there were a lot of potentially bad movies released in 2011 – namely anything involving Kevin James, Martin Lawrence and Sarah Jessica Parker – that I actively avoided. So perhaps a better title for this list would be “The 10 Worst Films of 2011 That I Failed to Avoid”.

 Anders Wotzke’s Bottom 10:

10. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

You know it’s a Michael Bay movie when the best compliment you can give is: “it’s slightly less racist than the last one!”

9. I Am Number Four

Actually, you’re number nine, but a good guess nonetheless.

8. Wasted on the Young

Too busy being cool and cutting-edge to be anything else, this grossly miscalculated, po-faced melodrama about Australian high schoolers was Wasted on Me more than anyone else.

7. The Hangover Part II

When the first Hangover turned out to be funny, critics such as myself were lost for words because the zinger we were all planning to use — “It’s awful like an actual hangover!” — was totally shut down. So out of sympathy, director Todd Phillips went ahead and made a sequel that is, undeniably, “awful like an actual hangover!” Thanks Todd!

6. Battle: Los Angeles

If you gave a bunch of drunk teenage boys a camera and a few million bucks to make a movie, the result would look something like this. Only the camerawork would probably be a bit better…

5. Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1

What happens when a vampire and werewolf fight over dinner a girl?

Four movies of NOTHING. F*****G NOTHING.

4. Abduction

With lines like “there’s a bomb in the oven!” and the seminal “I hate balloons!”, it’s an outright scandal that amendments have yet to be made to the AFI’s Top 100 Movie Quotes of All Time list.

3. Your Highness

Did you know that if you say “penis!” a lot whilst wearing a suit of armour you’re making a joke? It’s true! You’ve also just made Your Highness, so shame on you.

2. Just Go With It/Jack & Jill

When Adam Sandler farts in a cup and dares his partner to smell it, I just know he’s thinking “there’s a movie in this.”

1. The Three Musketeers

If I were Satan, The Three Musketeers would be the movie I’d have looping in the lobby to greet new tenants.

Tom Clift’s Bottom 10:

10. Abduction

Don’t get me wrong: I actually really enjoyed this movie. I found it hilarious. Still, there’s no doubt that this Taylor Lautner action vehicle is absolutely one of the worst films of the year.

9. My Week with Marilyn

A lifeless, sappy and wholly unlikely story about a supposed romance between Marilyn Monroe and a British youth so bland and uninteresting I don’t even feel compelling to look up his name, My Week with Marilyn hits Australian cinemas in February 2012. Don’t waste your time.

8. The Ages of Love

Ludicrously un-PC and ludicrously unfunny, this romantic comedy, styled as Italy’s answer to Love, Actually, and starring a very confused looking Robert DeNiro, is abysmal.

7. Tiny Furniture

One of the indie darlings of the year (although not in Australia, where it is yet to play outside the festival circuit), Lisa Dunham directorial debut is full of agonizingly irritating and self centred characters whose constant whining is enough to send you running from the theatre.

6. The Redemption of General Butt Naked

There are other films on this list I consider boring, stupid or artless. This documentary – about a former African warlord who embraced Christianity and went about converting his former child soldiers – I found morally disturbing.

5. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

The CGI is top of the line, but that’s about all this film has to offer. Marginally less offensive than the second Transformers movie, but Dark of the Moon is still juvenile, boring, overlong, incomprehensibly edited and full of unlikable characters whose demise would be a blessing.

4. The Tree of Life

Ambitious and visually stunning…to a point. But Terrance Mallick’s latest soon descends into utter tedium and laughable art house clichés due to its director’s refusal to engage his audience or deliver a cohesive narrative.

3. Melancholia

Utterly one note. Everything from the performances from the colour scheme to the title of the film is void of emotional complexity, or even emotional variation. You’re sad. We get it. Move on.

2. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Perhaps the most shamelessly cash-grabby Hollywood turd of the year, the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie turns its beloved characters to painfully irritating caricatures, and is duller than watching paint dry. Oh, and it was post-converted into 3D. Need I say more?

1. Once Upon A Time In Anatolia

It doesn’t help that I saw it late at night during a five-film day on the last weekend of a film festival in which I spent over sixty hours in various cinemas. But the fact remains that this supposedly existential drama from Turkey is the most boring film I have seen all year. A quarter of my audience walked out. I should have as well.

—

(DIS)Honourable Mentions: Battle: LA, She Monkeys, Troll Hunter, Cowboys and Aliens

Phew, thank God that’s over! Now how about you cleanse your palate by reading our list of the 10 Best Movies of 2011?

The 10 Best Films of 2011

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (Video Review)

Competition: Win tickets to SUBMARINE + indie DVDs!

Cinema Releases July 2nd, 2009 – Ice Age 3, Last Ride

Competition: Win ATTACK THE BLOCK tickets!

My comrades over at the Online Film Critics Society (OFCS) — of which I’m a voting member — recently announced the winners of the society’s 15th annual awards, and to little surprise (given its seven nominations), the top honours went to Terrence Malick’s arthouse opus The Tree of Life. For the sake of comparison, the title of best film last year went to David Fincher’s The Social Network, and in 2009, Kathryn Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker emerged triumphant.

Below is the official press release (including all the winners) from the OFCS website.

—

The Tree of Life, which led the Online Film Critics Society nominations with seven, was the big winner at the 15th Annual Online Film Critics Society Awards. The film took home the prize for Best Picture as well as trophies for Best Director (Terrence Malick), Best Supporting Actress (Jessica Chastain), Best Editing and Best Cinematography. No other film won more than one award.

The other three acting winners were Michael Fassbender winning Best Actor for his performance in Shame; Tilda Swinton’s work in We Need to Talk About Kevin won the award for Best Actress; and Christopher Plummer received the Best Supporting Actor prize for his work in Beginners.

The full list of winners of the 15th Annual Online Film Critics Society Awards:

Best Picture:
The Tree of Life
Best Animated Feature:
Rango
Best Director:
Terrence Malick – The Tree of Life
Best Lead Actor:
Michael Fassbender – Shame
Best Lead Actress:
Tilda Swinton – We Need to Talk About Kevin
Best Supporting Actor:
Christopher Plummer – Beginners
Best Supporting Actress:
Jessica Chastain – The Tree of Life
Best Original Screenplay:
Midnight in Paris
Best Adapted Screenplay:
Tinker Tailor Solider Spy
Best Editing:
The Tree of Life
Best Cinematography:
The Tree of Life
Best Film Not in the English Language:
A Separation
Best Documentary:
Cave of Forgotten Dreams
Special Awards (previously announced):
To Jessica Chastain, the breakout performer of the year
To Martin Scorsese in honor of his work and dedication to the pursuit of film preservation

Founded in 1997, the Online Film Critics Society has been the key force in establishing and raising the standards for Internet-based film journalism. The OFCS membership consists of film reviewers, journalists and scholars based in the U.S., Canada, Europe, Latin America and the Asia/Pacific Rim region. For more information, visit the Online Film Critics Society at ofcs.org.

2009 Online Film Critics Society Award Winners: The Hurt Locker defuses competition

2010 OFCS Award Nominees: Black Swan leads the charge

2009 Online Film Critics Society (OFCS) Award Nominees

The Tree of Life (Video Review)

The 10 Best Films of 2011

For the record, I mildly enjoyed the Oscar-winning original, which despite being similarly hyperactive, still had the good sense to stick to a cohesive story. Unwisely, this sequel tries to tell about seven stories in one, all so heavily abridged by the strict time constraints of a children’s movie, they feel more like a collection of entangled shorts. The overarching plot involves Mumble (voice of Elija Wood; 9), the penguin protagonist from the previous film who has now had a bub of his own, Erik (newcomer Ava Acres). Much like his dad, Erik doesn’t quite fit in amongst the other Emperor Penguins, who spend their days singing and dancing to the likes of Queen and Justin Timberlake, as penguins often do. Erik can’t tap dance like his father and he can’t sing like his mother (voiced by pop star Pink), so he packs his bags and leaves the colony to find his calling elsewhere, quickly becoming enamoured by The Mighty Sven (Hank Azaria; The Smurfs), a rare flying penguin from the North. But while Erik is off finding himself and Mumble finding Erik, their colony is landlocked by a moving glacier – damn you, global warming! – leaving it up to the father and son duo to rescue their brethren before they all starve to death.

But wait, there’s more! There’s also a subplot involving the sensual Ramon (Robin Williams; Old Dogs), a pudgy Adele penguin looking for love; the gruff Bryan (Richard Carter; Happy Feet), an elephant seal looking to get his pups home; preacher Lovelace (also Robin Williams), a Rockhopper penguin hoping to reconnect with his human rescuers; and Will and Bill the krill (Brad Pitt and Matt Damon), two crustaceans who leave their swarm on an existential whim.  Their journey, despite being derivative of Scrat the squirrel from Ice Age, is easily the most enjoyable of them all, perhaps because it’s the only time the team of writers balance out the inherent childishness of the premise with some witty adult humour. Forget Happy Feet 3; give us Bill and Will’s Excellent Adventure instead.

Looking at Happy Feet Two from a glass-half-full perspective, it’s impressive that the film is energetic at all — let alone feverishly so — when you consider that penguins aren’t exactly the liveliest creatures of the animal kingdom, nor is Antarctica a continent bursting in colour. Also, taken in moderation, it’s hard to deny the splendour of the animation, from the sweeping shots of a thousand penguins marching across the icy arctic plains, to the way each individual granule of snow glistens beneath their webbed feet.

But nothing about Happy Feet Two can be taken in moderation. It’s a film that only deals in excess, so unless you’re a deliriously happy person with a serious foot fetish, you’d best give Happy Feet Two a miss.

Rio [2011] (Review)

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (Review)

The King of Ping Pong [Ping-pongkingen] (Review)

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole (Review)

Trailer Talk: X-Men: First Class

So yes, I have dueling personalities living in my organs, and yes, I gave into the calculated charms of We Bought a Zoo more than I probably should have. In my defence, there isn’t a single film out there that doesn’t try to coerce the viewer into feeling this or that, so a movie that wears its agenda on its sleeve – consciously or not — is actually kind of refreshing.  You don’t ever feel “played” watching We Bought a Zoo because, right from the word go, every move is obvious. Instead, you feel more like you’re just playing along, enjoying the journey despite knowing the destination, happy just to be a part of something unashamed of being nice.

Just to make sure we’re still on the same page, We Bought a Zoo is a story about a family who buys a zoo. (It’s that degree of insight that makes me the movie critic, and you, well, someone with a real job.) More specifically, this is the story of globe-trotting journo Benjamin Mee (Matt Damon; Contagion), who after losing his wife to cancer, decides that his midlife crisis will involve zebras. Much to the chagrin of his brother (Thomas Haden Church; Easy A), Ben spends a good chunk of his life savings to purchase the dilapidated park, which is home to 200-odd animals and half a dozen zookeepers. One of them is Scarlett Johansson (Iron Man 2), so I think we can all agree that Ben made a wise investment.

Also along for the ride are Ben’s 7-year-old daughter Rosie (Maggie Elizabeth Jones; Footloose) and 14-year-old son Dylan (Colin Ford; Push), the former the kind of perpetually cute, do-no-wrong child that only exists in movies, and the latter a moody and resentful teenager that parents wish only existed in movies. Before Ben can open the zoo to the public, he needs to get the tick of approval from zoo inspector Walter Ferris (John Michael Higgins; Bad Teacher), who is such an ass, they might as well put him in a pen beside the horses. Walter is due to evaluate the zoo in a couple of weeks, yet there’s more than a couple of weeks work to be done, so Ben and his crew must kick into gear should they hope to pass the test while inspirational music swells in the background.

Believe it or not, We Bought a Zoo is based on a true story, but judging from Crowe’s melodramatic direction and screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna’s prescription plotting, you’re probably going to err on the side of not believing it. Still, Benjamine Mee does exist, he did buy a zoo (in England) and did encounter many of the problems movie Ben faces in his effort to reopen it. He probably didn’t look like Matt Damon, sure, but just knowing that the story did happen does give the drama a bit more kick. Besides, between all the forced sentiment, McKenna’s screenplay occasionally stumbles upon a few moments of real emotion, which is a lot more than I was expecting from the writer of 27 Dresses and Morning Glory. I was also pleasantly surprised by the way Crowe chooses not to personify or overplay the cuteness of the animals, which would have been mandatory had the movie starred Eddie Murphy or Brendan Fraser. Instead, he has the good sense to portray the animals as caged beasts, not domestic pets, that answer to no one. This allows the movie to deal with the loss of both human and animal life in ways that are far more convincing than what the sugary-sweet premise might let on.

It’s a shame, then, that in place of the cutesy animals are a bunch of shallow and goofy humans, many of whom can best be described accordingly: monkey-on-shoulder man, inexplicably-nasty inspector, perpetually-drunk Scotsman and so on. It’s also disappointing to see Elle Fanning, so radiant and engaging in J.J. Abrams’ Super 8, reduced to a role where she does nothing but dote upon gloomy Dylan as though it’s her sole purpose in life.  Kelly, Scarlett Johansson’s workaholic character, fairs a little better because she’s given slightly more to do than just stand around and flirt with Ben, although to say she’s involved for any greater reason than to attract Dads to the cinema is probably wishful thinking.

This brings us to Matt Damon, the bread holding this ham and cheese sandwich together. Looking over his CV, Damon only ever plays the earnest everyman, the kind who seldom puts a foot wrong, and if he does, it’s rarely his fault. Such a role played by someone other than Damon — say, Mark Wahlberg; his evil doppelganger — often comes across as bland and unconvincing.  At best, they’re likeable, but rarely ever lovable. Yet Damon, a master of the ordinary, can create a rounded, convincing and utterly engaging character out of just about anyone, Benjamin Mee included.

So it’s thanks to Damon that I connected with We Bought a Zoo, despite knowing all too well that, objectively speaking, it’s not a very good movie. But no one can objectively speak when it comes to watching films, not even a critic. I went with my heart on this one, and even though my inner cynic lost this bout, I’m sure he’ll be back soon enough to enact his revenge.

Funny Friday: ‘The Social Network’ Parodies

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But worry not, Hergé fans; the ink-blotted Tintin of yore has not been forgotten nor besmirched in this audacious 3D adaptation. That much is clear in the opening scene where a street artist — looking suspiciously like the late Hergé himself — paints a profile of Tintin (voice of Jamie Bell; Defiance) in his iconic two-dimensional likeness, the first of many ‘wink-wink’ allusions to the beloved source material. No one can deny that Spielberg and producer Peter Jackson have gone to great lengths to capture the lightly comical, historically focused and distinctly European vibe of the comics, even in the face of a largely unaware American audience who will probably think they’re watching The Adventures Conan O’Brien instead. This is one for the fans, and even if that’s not you, consider this your chance to become one.

In what is hopefully the first of many, Tintin’s first Hollywood adventure begins with the young reporter’s eye being drawn to a model ship – the titular Unicorn — on sale in a Brussels marketplace, which he snaps up for a bargain. Moments later, a rather baleful looking collector, Ivan Sakharine (Daniel Craig; Cowboys & Aliens), offers to buy the model off of Tintin for a hefty sum, but he declines, intrigued to know what makes this particular model so desirable. Leave it to Snowy, Tintin’s wily fox terrier, to sniff out a cryptic piece of parchment hidden in the mast, hinting at a secret treasure Sakharine no doubt intents to get his hands on. Sensing a good story, Tintin and Snowy board Sakharine’s ship as the collector sets out to recover another clue he believes is in somewhere Morocco. On board, they bump into the boisterous Scotsman Captain Haddock (mo-cap king Andy Serkis; Rise of the Planet of the Apes), who is too drunk to remember what he has to do with anything, but not quiet drunk enough to forget that it’s very, very important.

Fans will be quick to point out that this swashbuckling story — penned by a British screenwriting supergroup comprised of Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead), Steven Moffat (Doctor Who) and Joe Cornish (Attack the Block) — is actually a mixture of three Tintin adventures: The Crab with the Golden Claws (1941), The Secret of the Unicorn (1943) and Red Rackham’s Treasure (1944). The fact that narrative still manages to feel somewhat underwritten and incomplete despite such a bevy of material is a little surprising, I’ll admit, but the film barely slows down long enough for anyone to notice. It’s relentless alright, but relentless in the best kind of way, lurching from dazzling set-piece to dazzling set-piece with just enough exposition in-between to keep the mystery unraveling at a pace the whole family will appreciate. Any doubt I previously had towards the eerie, photo-realistic animation style — and believe me, I had plenty — was diminished by the sheer beauty and spectacle of the action, none of which could be been so vividly and kinetically realised had it been filmed live. There’s undeniably still work to be done in evoking the “soul” of a real performance, but the CG virtuosos at Weta Digital successfully avoid falling into the uncanny valley by keeping physicality of the characters loyal to that of the comics rather than the actors. Thus, we don’t see Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis and Daniel Craig; we see Tintin, Haddock and Sakharine. And that distinction is what makes it easier to give yourself over to the world of Tintin than that of The Polar Express, where I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was watching zombie Tom Hanks drive a train.

I suppose my only real problem with The Adventures of Tintin is, well, Tintin. Let’s face it, the Belgian reporter is bit of a colourless character; a drearily earnest and asexual boy scout without a discernible quirk to call his own. I don’t blame Hergé for this, because in print, such nondescript characterisation allows the reader to imbue their own traits and values into the protagonist. But with film, the audience takes a more passive, observational role, leaving it up to the filmmakers to shape these characters for you. It’s the reason why Bond orders a shaken Martini and Indy loathes snakes. It makes them more than just a hero. It makes them human.

Nevertheless, Snowy does most of Tintin’s emoting for him, and Captain Haddock has enough eccentricities to sink a battleship – which, come to think of it, he does eventually. All in all, this is a wonderfully entertaining rollercoaster ride, a signature Spielbergian adventure that almost makes me wish the directing great would have another crack at reviving Indiana Jones again.

Just, you know, go easy on the aliens…

The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn (Review 2)

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Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Video Review)

Australian Box Office 14/8/11: Green Lantern the brightest star

But enough about Murphy; how’s the rest of the movie? Well, it’s certainly no Ocean’s Eleven, even it has been co-written by the very same Ted Griffin. It’s just not clever or slick enough, but it’d be wrong of me to assume that it intends to be. It’s what you’d call a casual heist movie in that it’s played for laughs, not smarts. It’s also about as good as you’ll ever get from Brett Ratner, the by-the-numbers Hollywood director whose crowning achievement is, well, Rush Hour. Ratner is all about getting the job done, and with Tower Heist, he does exactly that. Nothing more, nothing less.

Tying nicely into the current credit crunch, the story sees the employees of a luxury apartment complex endeavour to steal back their hard-earned dosh from their sleazy boss Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda; The Aviator), a villainous member of the 1% who swindled all their pensions to keep his Wall Street enterprise from going under. (Of course, it doesn’t undermine the potency of the message at all that the 99% are being represented by some of Hollywood’s highest paid actors.) In one of his more sympathetic roles, Ben Stiller leads the charge as Josh Kovacs, the building’s manager whose convinces concierge Charlie (Casey Affleck; The Killer Inside Me), elevator operator Enrique (Michael Peña; Battle LA), maid Odessa (Gabourey Sidibe; Precious) and ex-investor Mr. Fitzhugh (Matthew Broderick; The Producers) to help pull off the heist. The plan is to break into Shaw’s heavily-guarded penthouse suite and claim the millions hidden inside a safe in the wall for themselves. But there’s a slight problem: none of them know anything about stealing things.  That’s where Eddie Murphy comes in as Slide, a small-time criminal Kovacs brings on board to help give the would-be crooks a crash course in thievery. Lesson number one? Never trust a thief.

Not since 1999’s Bowfinger has Murphy been this entertaining on screen, his signature boisterousness working comedic wonders against the reticence of the rest of the group. He can’t quite create a character out of the caricature he’s given, but that’s hardly his fault, and his presence alone gives the film the kind of spark needed to keep things funny and fresh going forward. Kudos also to Matthew Broderick, who underplays his crestfallen character to precision, and Alan Alda, who makes for the kind of vile villain audiences love to hate.  In fact, everyone in front of the camera is doing their best to make the screenplay by Jeff Nathanson and Ted Griffin work, which unfortunately, often doesn’t. The ugly scars of rewrites are all over this one, from subplots that go nowhere to cavernous gaps in logic that are impossible to ignore. Look, I’m all for suspending my disbelief, but please, don’t pretend I’m not familiar with how gravity works. I do know, and let me tell you, it doesn’t work like THAT.

Luckily though, this is a light comedy first and a heist thriller second, so it gets away with being an average example of the latter. All in all, I honestly expected to loathe Tower Heist given the people involved, but there I was, smiling my way through what simple pleasure the film has to offer, merely pleased to be able to enjoy Murphy’s presence on screen again, let alone tolerate it. It was almost as if the last decade never happened!  Almost.

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